"I'm Fine, Thanks"

As I've been discussing here and here, I'm one of the newest members of the unemployed class. I'm keeping myself busy with reading, writing, housework, and also looking for a job. Per my last post, I have become disillusioned with the idea of meeting with startup people who are 15-20 years younger than me with the hope of proving that "yes, I'm cool enough to be your co-worker". There have been enough failures in that area for me. I have seen the futility in repeatedly trying something that is not destined to work out for me in the hope that the next opportunity will work out differently. I'm looking at a new idea: to teach what I've learned in over 10 years of experience with the hope of finding a few freelance opportunities.

In the midst of all of this re-evaluation, I finally got around to watching the film "I'm Fine, Thanks" by Grant Peelle that was made with the help of a number of Kickstarter donors (including me). Peelle is a realtor who, somehow along the way, took a detour from his dream of making films to settle into The Script: go to school; get married; get job; get kids; wait until you're retired to follow your dreams (if you're lucky enough to make it). He reaches the breaking point of living a life that is not genuine to him and decides that he is going to follow his dreams and become a filmmaker. "I'm Fine, Thanks" is the manifestation of that dream. In the film, he and his crew interview dozens of people who are in varying degrees of discomfort with the concept of living the traditional rat race life and decide to do something about it. The subjects are not concerned with financial reward- they have a higher, more fulfilling purpose. As one person puts it, "If you live a life cut off from your heart, that's not really living." That line really hits home for me. I have no interest in pounding the pavement in search of another job like those I've had in the past that tend to burn me out after a year. Like the saying goes, the definition of insanity is "doing the same thing repeatedly with the same result in the hope of getting a different outcome." None of the people interviewed in the film are motivated by money. In fact, most of them accept that the key to a fulfilling life is in detaching yourself from material things. I always thought that once I earned a six-figure income that I'd be truly satisfied with myself. Once I got there I was just as miserable as always. In fact, if I were to list the most fulfilling things in my life, money would not be in the Top 5.

I have to admit that I am still on the journey to figure out what I should be doing with my life. I'm taking the advice in Steve Jobs' famous Stanford commencement speech where he talks about finding the things you like with the faith that you will be led down the correct path. I'd like to say that I can define the One Thing that I think I was put on this planet to carry out but I'm not there yet. "I'm Fine, Thanks" has provided me with a much needed shot in the arm to find the courage needed to get off the hamster wheel and onto a much brighter path.

The film has not been widely released yet. More info is at http://cranktank.com/im-fine-thanks/.

Everyday Sunshine: The Story Of Fishbone

Fishbone is one of the greatest live bands I have ever seen. Their shows were a whirlwind of sweaty manic energy from the get-go with band members twirling their keyboards around and stage diving with trombones and saxophones. The recent documentary “Everyday Sunshine: The Story of Fishbone”, narrated by Laurence Fishburne, does an extraordinary job of telling the band's compelling story.

The band members met as high schoolers in the late 70s when they were bused from South Central LA to the San Fernando Valley, an era captured hilariously via a series of interviews and animated clips.  By throwing into the musical blender the diverse range of sounds that they were exposed to (funk, punk rock, R&B, and soul), Fishbone was able to create a style that had never been heard before but that has influenced scores of musicians who came after them. Many of them, like Gwen Stefani, Les Claypool, and Flea, offer appropriate gushing tribute.

“Everyday Sunshine” captures the full ride of the band, from their signing while in high school to the near hits and the career-long struggle to find a niche while being too black for rock radio and not black enough for black radio. The film bares it all, including the tensions that drove most of the original lineup away. In what must be one of the oddest band breakup stories ever, guitarist Kendall Jones, seemingly in the midst of a serious mental disorder, leaves the band to join a cult. This leads to a kidnap attempt by band members that almost ends with prison sentences. As the film gets closer to the present day, there are only two original members left, singer Angelo Moore and Norwood Fisher. Their quest to keep the band going is full of challenges (especially in trying to get along with each other) but their belief in Fishbone holds strong and by the end of the film, one is left with a sense of hope that Angelo and Norwood will make it all work out.

“Everyday Sunshine: The Story Of Fishbone” is a long-overdue tribute to one of the greatest bands to grace a stage.

Every Little Step

I've been wanting to watch the documentary “Every Little Step” ever since it came out in 2008. It captures the year-long process of casting for the revival of “A Chorus Line” that returned to Broadway in 2006, thirty-one years after its original debut in 1975. While I'm no musical theater aficionado, I've always loved “A Chorus Line” and am lucky enough to have seen it a couple of times. What hooks me into this musical is the realism behind the stories of the aspiring dancers who put their entire lives on display as they audition for the chorus line of a musical. These dancers are not vying for the lead roles- they are all (except for one person) looking for their first break via a spot in the chorus. While watching “Every Little Step”, one is struck by the fact that the auditions for this revival are a real-life mirror of the struggles faced by the different characters of “A Chorus Line”. The film cuts back and forth between the casting for the revival to the creation of the original production. In an interesting twist that bridges the past and the present, Baayork Lee, the original “Connie” when the musical debuted in 1975, was the choreographer for the revival version of the show. As a member of the casting team, she's watching young women audition for a role that was based on her true-life experiences.

The story for “A Chorus Line” was created from taped conversations that director/choreographer Michael Bennet held with real-life dancers. “Every Little Step” is interspersed with clips from these tapes that served as the genesis for the characters of the musical. The dancers being recorded were not afraid to be honest about themselves and this realism was transferred to the story. Recent interviews with Marvin Hamlisch (the show's music composer) and original cast members recount the challenges faced in staging the original production. The dancers auditioning for the revival version do not make themselves vulnerable to the same extent that their characters do but watching the year-long process makes clear the amount of blood, sweat, and tears that goes into this vocation.

It's inspirational to watch this group of young people work so hard to fulfill their life-long dreams of appearing on Broadway. One of the things that separates them from the rest (besides their immense talent) is the fact that they are willing to make huge sacrifices and undertake exhausting work. Someone recently told me that most people quit a second too soon. That line reverberates with me as I think about the dancers in this film. When the final cast is selected and celebrated in their triumph, it's impossible not to feel elated as you watch.

PJ20

I just got home a little while ago from seeing “PJ20”, the outstanding Cameron Crowe documentary on Pearl Jam. The film does a great job of telling the Pearl Jam story starting with the early days of Stone Gossard and Jeff Ament in the ill-fated band Mother Love Bone which collapsed after the death by overdose of singer Andrew Wood. Stone and Jeff decide to forge on and the story continues when they find a surfer guy named Eddie Vedder to sing for them and shortly thereafter, things take off like a rocket ride as Pearl Jam attains meteoric success. There were also a few bumps over the course of the last two decades but at the end of the film you appreciate the members of Pearl Jam as strong survivors who withstood a number of things that have ended countless other bands.

The film starts out with grainy video of the old days and as soon as the band attains success you can see the quality of the footage improve as if on cue. Over the course of “PJ20” you also see the progression of the musicians as their frenetic on-stage energy tempers with age. That's not to say that the energy of their performances is lessened because the passion is still evident. The 2006 live clip of “Release” from their debut Ten is absolutely spellbinding as is the campfire singalong of “Better Man” from Madison Square Garden in 2010. Their take on the Mother Love Bone tune “Crown Of Thorns” gave me the same goose-bump feelings I had when I first heard the original 20 years ago. As they got older they seem to have channeled their energy into the music. No one feels the need to jump around too much these days and Eddie no longer needs to climb scaffolding to prove a point (though he's been known recently to do a bit of scaling). Their endurance over the last 20 years has said enough for them.

The journey wasn't always graceful. For one thing, it's a little awkward to hear them reject the concept of the Grammys but still feel compelled to show up to the ceremony. It's never easy to listen to hugely successful bands as they denigrate the trappings of fame and a life that most people will only dream of living. They were more or less forced into an awful no-win position by their participation in the Justice Department inquiry into Ticketmaster. When they were willing to take a stand, the rest of their peers in the industry stood back and let them take the heat. When you watch the rapid transformation of Eddie Vedder from bra-wearing jokester to the more stoic guy we know today, you see the change as a by-product of the immense pressure that Pearl Jam faced when they were put under the microscope of public scrutiny. All of the people who criticized their rejection of mainstream success overlooked the very important point that they didn't ask for the Time magazine covers or the media blitzkrieg that ensued in the wake of their success. The only thing that Pearl Jam has wanted was to be a band making the best music possible.

It was delightful to take a stroll through all of that history. What I liked about the early part of the film was the portrayal of the pre-explosion Seattle scene as a place where musicians genuinely liked each other and supported each other. Until now, I had no idea about how Chris Cornell served as a mentor to Eddie Vedder during the Mookie Blaylock days. For me, it was a heartwarming look back at a band that I was totally enamored with when I was living in Seattle back in the 90s. (I once almost hit Eddie with my car because he wasn't paying attention as he was crossing the street.) While I'm not playing their more recent albums in constant rotation these days, I'll never tire of the first three Pearl Jam albums. “Vs.” in particular will always stay with me as it was given to me while I was in bed recovering from a very serious case of food poisoning. I will never forget standing on my futon bed and being seemingly healed by the music. I was uplifted from the opening strains of “Go” and the feeling did not subside for the remainder of the album.

“PJ20” is the story of a group of guys who stayed the course no matter what was thrown their way. When the pitfalls of mega-success began creeping in, the band chose to retreat and stay true to themselves. In an era of “American Idol” and short-attention-span success cycles, watching this film makes you appreciate what it means to be in for the long haul and especially all of the crap that comes with the territory. Cameron Crowe truly captures the dynamics of the bonds that these guys have shared.