Monday, May 30, 2011

It's Memorial Day


This morning, a Facebook status from a vet friend of mine said something along the lines of not understanding why we refer to a “Happy” Memorial Day. I guess he was making the point that today's holiday was formed to remember those who died in service to our country. Over time, the holiday has become an excuse for people to tap kegs and take advantage of retail sales. That's the danger when you try to create a national holiday of solemn remembrance- the message can get quite diluted over time.

Every year on Memorial Day I make a point of reflecting for a few minutes on the men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice on behalf of our country. I become choked up a little bit but also become immensely grateful. We tend to complain a lot in this country about our state of affairs. As we do so we forget that the very fact that we can do all of this bitching and moaning is because we enjoy freedoms that other people laid down their lives for. If you're not sure whether or not it's a big deal to be able to criticize our leaders, take a moment to think about what might happen to someone in Pyongyang who chose to speak out as we are able to every day.

A while back I was watching a piece on one of the Sunday news shows about billionaires who are answering the rallying cry of Warren Buffet to donate the bulks of their fortunes to charity. One gentleman who has signed off is a billionaire hedge fund guy. He explained that, unlike many of his peers, he wants to pay his fair share of taxes because this country and its system enables people to be able to become immensely successful unlike the structures of other countries. As he explained this, he started to cry. I'll never forget that.

Today we decided to hit up the local Memorial Day parade in town. There was a stream of vintage cars, horses, and little kids. The sidewalks were full of the townsfolk, many in patriotic colors. There were American flags and red, white, and blue bunting all over town. The parade ended in a local park where they dedicated a new memorial site whose completion was due in large part to a teenage Eagle scout. Our national anthem was sung by the local high school choir. Every time I hear that song, I become emotional. Those words and that melody represent the struggles our men and women have endured for us, some having given up their lives. There are men and women at this moment who are far away from home in service to our country. They have shown a commitment to their country that few can match.

I can't relate how lucky I feel tonight to be a citizen of this county. Sure, things are far from perfect but I feel as if I have a lot on my side that many citizens of the world don't have. Without those men and women in uniform, I may not be able to say that or any number of things.

Ponce De Leon Missed Out In New Jersey


Yesterday, I mowed a lawn for the first time since I was a kid. The plot is roughly a half acre. We bought a new lawn mower for the summer place, a little cabin out in the woods of New Jersey. I haven't had the need to mow grass in many years as none of my living places had any grass for me or anyone else to worry about. It appears that lawn mowers have changed a bit since my day. Auto-propel technology reduces the need to push as hard as before though the hilly terrain was still a workout in the noonday sun. Of greater value is whatever technology has been developed that makes starting a gas mower a relative breeze compared to the days of tugging away furiously at the starter rope. It took a gentle tug to get things rolling and by the end, the view of a newly mown lawn felt like a big accomplishment for a holiday weekend Sunday.

The plot of land I mowed sits outside the door of the summer cabin my partner has owned for the last four or five years. From the windows in the living room, you can see the grass and a thick patch of woods whose green lushness has just filled out in time for summer. My partner's cabin is part of a group of about 10 cabins hidden from the main road. If you drive past the entrance to the compound quickly, you may not notice the gravel road that leads into the woods and up the hill to the cabin. We use the word "cabin" because it's easier to describe the place to people than trying to explain the concept of a 1950s prefab Sears house that was ordered out of a catalogue back in the day, shipped out in parts, and put together like an Ikea project on steroids.

The land that all of the houses reside on was bought by a bunch of World War II vets after the war. When they first came out, they would pitch tents and sleep on the land. Over time, they built houses on their plots and ran the community like a co-op. Some people moved on and others have passed away. The last member of the original crew is still alive and until this year, he and his wife were out here regularly, dividing their time among their cabin in New Jersey, a condo in Florida, and an apartment in New York. They're in their 90s and for the most part, they've kept very active lives. Many of the people who have lived here have also been able to enjoy an extensive golden age.

I've talked about this summer community and the residents quite often because I am fascinated by their collective longevity. Initially, I wondered if the water out here is some kind of elixir like what Ponce De Leon was looking for centuries ago. As I've learned more about these people, the answer seems so much less mysterious than that. The wife mentioned above still goes for her morning swim each day in Florida, a habit she cultivated well into her 90s by traveling on a New York City bus to the nearest Y. When she was living in the city she was a member of more clubs and, with her husband, went to more movies and museums than people half her age. Other residents in the community remain active and don't think much about age as they drive around and go about their business as cheerful, optimistic people.

It's not much of a stretch to say that staying active in one's golden years is an important component of remaining vital but there's a little bit more. Having a place outside of New York City forces you to slow down and take a breather from the manic energy that sizzles from the sidewalks. I've always said that I would like to get to a place where I am in New York only during spring and fall. For now, I have some of the summer taken care of bug winter is still a mystery.

The people here in the community are not wealthy by any means although they live comfortably as far as I can tell. They live simply and keep the overhead low which allows them to have a modest summer place where they can escape the hot sticky NYC summer. One of the biggest lessons I've learned lately is that if you keep your spending in check you will have the flexibility to enjoy life more without being weighed down by financial commitment.

There's a lot to be said for keeping balance in one's life. I am typing this from my apartment in the city where I had to endure a one-hour bus ride (standing the whole time), the too-muggy-for-May subway and a walk through the busy streets of Manhattan. As soon as I was off the bus, I was back in the craziness of New York and I could feel the difference from the quiet inner peace I felt all weekend. I've learned from these people that there is a different, healthier way to live that does not involve wealth. Instead, it involves full engagement in life and finding a way to make time for loved ones and for whatever sparks your passion in life. Just as importantly, it involves finding those quiet spaces where your mind can get off its treadmill and relax. I'm a much different person out in the country than I am in the city. Hopefully, by cultivating the lifestyle I've just been exposed to, I can ride things out for a real long time.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Eight Ramones A-Scamming


My part-time bouncer gig was the best job I've ever had. I'm grateful that for three years, I was a tiny part of the history of a grand New York music institution. The job was not nearly as tough as one might think. It might come as a surprise that the best shows for me in terms of crowd behavior were the hardcore shows. The worst moment that sticks out in my memory was being body-checked by the mother of a fan of a big teenybopper band who was hysterical about some minor thing I can no longer recall. Her over-the-top reaction was surely due in large part to the fact that she had been sitting on the sidewalk all day with her kid waiting to get inside and hadn't eaten.

The gig involved standing guard over a velvet rope in front of the VIP/backstage section. A large chunk of my job consisted of repeated variations on politely saying “no, this area is for people with VIP passes” and “the bathrooms are downstairs”. Most people were ok with that but some tried the “don't you know who I am” bit. (The reply of “no, I'm sorry I don't” took the wind out of quite a few sails.) A few others won points for creativity including the 12-year old girl who tried to slip me 5 bucks and the eight guys at a Ramones tribute show who swore they were former members of The Ramones. From working at shows, I now understand why bouncers tend to be terse. After being treated poorly by people who fancy themselves to be more important than everyone else, you tend to become less cheery over time. I tried my best to be polite and accommodating but I'll admit I strayed a few times and apologize to anyone I may have treated poorly.

For those who have tried to weasel their way backstage or who have been overbearing to a bouncer, here's what it looks like from the other side of the rope:

Offering cash to get to the VIP or backstage area brands you as a schmuck with no class and no respect for money.

The bottom line: if the band really wanted your sorry ass to be in the VIP area, they would make sure to provide you with a pass. Bouncers don't give a shit who gets to stand on the “cool” side of the rope. When I was working, the only important thing on my mind was the end time of the show because I knew I'd be home within 45 minutes. Bouncers get paid the same regardless of who is hanging out in the VIP area. An honest worker trying to make an honest buck will not let you in without a pass because he/she is doing his job with the same integrity that you would hopefully maintain at your place of work. The bouncer has nothing against you as he/she doesn't know you beyond the fact that you are Person Without Pass.

Your allegedly unique take on getting past the rope has been heard hundreds of times. As soon as you offer money, it’s as if you’re saying “Look, I’m really just a schmuck who’s not as cool as I would like you to think. I have no connections anywhere and I’m hoping for a piece of glamour to get me through the night”. What struck me as especially appalling about attempted bribes was the fact that I was being offered as much as $500 to sneak people past a velvet rope when there were people sleeping in the streets down the block from the venue.

No, I am not interested in oral sex from you”

Please note that the bouncer can't leave a post for a quick one as payment for a better view of the show. Also, in this era of STDs, the guy at the rope would have to carefully consider what other superficial thing you are willing to risk your health over and decide if it's worth a roll of the dice to hook up with you. The thought that always struck me at times like these was: once you’ve given away the prize of VIP access for the promise of some action after the show, THERE IS NO MORE INCENTIVE FOR THESE WOMEN TO SLEEP WITH YOU. As those who have let women past the velvet rope can attest, the night will end, you’ll get your “goodnight” hug, and you will go home. Alone. Again.

I don’t have to let you fight with me

One of the best things I gained from the job is the ability to manage potential conflict without the need for escalating words or actions. A life coach friend likes to say that if you don’t throw the ball back, there is no game. When you’re arguing over how important you are when you are turned away, there's nothing left for the bouncer to add to the discussion. My move was to turn my head and slowly walk away, pretending that I was unable to hear the person behind me. It’s silly to argue with the back of someone’s head although a few tried valiantly.
The other thing that worked was to not deviate from the script. When I told someone politely (because that’s how I usually rolled) that I was unable to accommodate a trip into VIP Land and they tried to find some other reason why I should, I would just say “I’m sorry I can’t let you in” each time. It’s difficult to escalate an argument when the other person is not willing to participate. If someone kept jabbering at me, I would throw them my “moron” look that I perfected during my tenure: vacant eyes with mouth held slightly open. I learned that looking stupid really disarms people. With these methods I can say that I avoided conflict about 98% of the time.

For most of the time I was in the job, I was able to shrug off the tiny percentage of irritating people who crossed my path. When it got to the point where petty annoying people ended up taking up space in my head, I knew it was time to hang up the radio and flashlight. We always wish that good things will remain good forever but unfortunately, that wish is inconsistent with the way that life ebbs and flows. Chapters close and chapters open. I'll always remember this particular chapter fondly.

Image courtesy of http://www.worshipperiod.com.

Monday, May 16, 2011

The Pacifics Play Favourites

The original intention behind the Stray Riffs blog was to rap about comics, tunes, and other cool things that I came across. Somehow, things took a turn and became way more introspective than I had planned. Not that it's an issue, but it was time to get a little less serious and a little more fun. Thankfully, I came across The Pacifics from Dublin.

Their EP “The Pacifics Play Favourites”, released on their own label, contains their takes on four old R&B/garage standards. Keeping true to their garage roots, the tracks are all recorded in glorious gritty mono. The EP features crunchy guitars and tight beats throughout and each cut would be a great surprise for your next party playlist. The standout is their re-think of “You Can't Judge A Book By Its Cover” which takes the original's Diddley swagger and brings it closer to the skiffle-punk neighborhood of Billy Childish.

“The Pacifics Play Favourites” is a great little jam for your Saturday night house party or down-and-dirty smoky pub. The physical release may or may not be out but you can stream the tracks and learn more at the links below:



Sunday, May 8, 2011

“¡Gracias a dios por Hollywood Sinners!”


With “Disastro Garantito”, this trio of misfits from Toledo, Spain cranks out 12 greasy retro-garage cuts in both English and Spanish. They dutifully honor the lineage of rock en español that that includes icons like Richie Valens and ? And The Mysterians. In true punk rock fashion, the whole party clocks in at just over 25 minutes with an average song length of barely 2 minutes. Hollywood Sinners rock your ass off quickly and before you've caught your breath, the next cut pulls you by the scruff of your collar back into the fray.

The opening track “No Soy Bueno” kicks off with crunchy guitar and manic rapid-fire drums that will immediately shake you out of your complacent doldrums. The rest of “Distastro Garantito” is a down and dirty barrage that reminds you of being in your favorite dive club with your shoes stuck to the beer-soaked floor. The hip-swinging yearning of “Quiero Una Novia Extrangera” brings it all together along with killer guitar riffs and hooky-as-hell melodies that will still kick you in your ass even if you don't speak Spanish.

In an era where we've lost touch with the beauty of recording raw music with real musicians in tiny rooms, the slam-banging grimy rhythms of “Disastro Garatito” makes you want to exclaim “¡Gracias a dios por Hollywood Sinners!”

Buy it at:

http://dirtywaterrecords.co.uk/shop/product/hollywood-sinners-disastro-garantito-pre-release-discount

Band page:

http://www.myspace.com/hollywoodsinners

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Once in a while you can get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right


I was looking at some pictures last night of a trip I made to Thailand 2 years ago when this particular shot caught my attention. At the time I took it, I suppose I was humored by the awkward grammar that dictates the refund policy of the store I was perusing. It's likely that the store management wanted to inform us farang shoppers that you can't return an item after purchase that has been altered or opened in any way. Last night, I was exhausted and slightly depressed after 3 days spent moving, unpacking, and settling into a new place. In my somewhat hazy state, I made a connection that I hadn't made during any previous viewing of this picture.

That's the thing about enlightenment- it'll sneak up on you sometimes when you least expect it. I'm currently in the process of making a lot of big changes: brand-new living situation; brand-new job starting soon; taking a class in a classroom for the first time in close to 20 years. I didn't exactly want a new job as things were rather cushy where I was but I had reached a plateau maybe a year or so before my employer was forced to shut down. I had hoped that there would be an opportunity for change in the workplace but alas, that was not to happen. In hindsight, my previous employer's woes shook me out of an all-too-comfortable complacency against my will. In a few days, I start a new job in a new industry doing a larger version of the type of work I've been doing for a very long time. There will be the challenges of being the new guy and I will have to figure out how to balance what I want to do in my life with the demands of my employer. In my last job, the work load dropped dramatically and I got soft as there wasn't much to do. This new job will be a whole new world. In regards to the other new things, my new living situation is the first time I've lived with another person in a long time. There's a whole new chapter opening on that alone. As a big upside, I have a much bigger place now and need to get into a routine of where to find things as I have actual rooms to choose from.

As chaotic as the last few months have been, I asked for all of this. I wanted change because I know that experiencing the discomfort of change is the only way to grow. I haven't really been uncomfortable in my life in years and as a result, I haven't experienced personal growth and have become resentful of those who have cast aside fear and doubt in the pursuit of new experiences. The idea of taking a class was as much about learning things as it was about feeling awkward about not knowing everything. I wanted to learn how to accept criticism without wanting to tear someone's head off. I'm doing my best to participate even if it means that no one agrees with what I have to say or if what I say is absolutely wrong. I've been raising my hand when I don't understand something and have been trying to sit with the sensation of asking what is possibly a stupid question. The bottom line is that I haven't really failed at anything lately and the reason is that I haven't traveled outside of my very small comfort zone. I've known for a while that this strategy for living does not allow for personal growth or true fulfillment as we tend to learn many of the big lessons of life through failure and discomfort.

One of the most profound sentences I have ever read is this:

If you want to change your life, change what you do and your life will change as a result.

I don't recall who said it and while there are tons of variations on this, I can't find the origin of this particular quote. The idea makes perfect sense: if you walk the same path over and over, it seems reasonable that you will always get to the same destination. It's by choosing left instead of right for a once that things inevitably look different. You may not get exactly what you want or you may fail disastrously at what you try to do. But in the same way that a piece of toast can't become bread again, if you make a change in your life you will be at a different vantage point than if you don't. You will never go back to the person you were before the change was made. In most cases, your life becomes bigger when you acknowledge fear and walk through it anyway, regardless of the results. I base this on my own experiences as well as on those of people I know.

Whether I like it or not, I will not be the same person at the end of 2011 as I was at the start. It's just not possible with all of the things that are in play right now. I have no idea if I will be better off or not. Hell, I'm not sure what “better off” means other than to hopefully be at peace with where and who I am when I am finally able to take a step back and look at everything that's happening to me right now. But tonight, I have faith that I will be taken care of no matter what. If I envision the worst case scenarios for the situations I will soon encounter, none of them include death or anything irreparable. Sure, there may be psychic pain but one thing about pain is that it's a clear warning sign that you've gone too far. The only way to know what one's real limits are is by going beyond the realm of comfort. If you extend yourself reasonably and feel the pain, you now know your true limits and can reassess the real edge of the envelope. I've never done this.

So here's to jumping off cliffs with the hope that there will be plenty more cliffs down the road.