PJ20

I just got home a little while ago from seeing “PJ20”, the outstanding Cameron Crowe documentary on Pearl Jam. The film does a great job of telling the Pearl Jam story starting with the early days of Stone Gossard and Jeff Ament in the ill-fated band Mother Love Bone which collapsed after the death by overdose of singer Andrew Wood. Stone and Jeff decide to forge on and the story continues when they find a surfer guy named Eddie Vedder to sing for them and shortly thereafter, things take off like a rocket ride as Pearl Jam attains meteoric success. There were also a few bumps over the course of the last two decades but at the end of the film you appreciate the members of Pearl Jam as strong survivors who withstood a number of things that have ended countless other bands.

The film starts out with grainy video of the old days and as soon as the band attains success you can see the quality of the footage improve as if on cue. Over the course of “PJ20” you also see the progression of the musicians as their frenetic on-stage energy tempers with age. That's not to say that the energy of their performances is lessened because the passion is still evident. The 2006 live clip of “Release” from their debut Ten is absolutely spellbinding as is the campfire singalong of “Better Man” from Madison Square Garden in 2010. Their take on the Mother Love Bone tune “Crown Of Thorns” gave me the same goose-bump feelings I had when I first heard the original 20 years ago. As they got older they seem to have channeled their energy into the music. No one feels the need to jump around too much these days and Eddie no longer needs to climb scaffolding to prove a point (though he's been known recently to do a bit of scaling). Their endurance over the last 20 years has said enough for them.

The journey wasn't always graceful. For one thing, it's a little awkward to hear them reject the concept of the Grammys but still feel compelled to show up to the ceremony. It's never easy to listen to hugely successful bands as they denigrate the trappings of fame and a life that most people will only dream of living. They were more or less forced into an awful no-win position by their participation in the Justice Department inquiry into Ticketmaster. When they were willing to take a stand, the rest of their peers in the industry stood back and let them take the heat. When you watch the rapid transformation of Eddie Vedder from bra-wearing jokester to the more stoic guy we know today, you see the change as a by-product of the immense pressure that Pearl Jam faced when they were put under the microscope of public scrutiny. All of the people who criticized their rejection of mainstream success overlooked the very important point that they didn't ask for the Time magazine covers or the media blitzkrieg that ensued in the wake of their success. The only thing that Pearl Jam has wanted was to be a band making the best music possible.

It was delightful to take a stroll through all of that history. What I liked about the early part of the film was the portrayal of the pre-explosion Seattle scene as a place where musicians genuinely liked each other and supported each other. Until now, I had no idea about how Chris Cornell served as a mentor to Eddie Vedder during the Mookie Blaylock days. For me, it was a heartwarming look back at a band that I was totally enamored with when I was living in Seattle back in the 90s. (I once almost hit Eddie with my car because he wasn't paying attention as he was crossing the street.) While I'm not playing their more recent albums in constant rotation these days, I'll never tire of the first three Pearl Jam albums. “Vs.” in particular will always stay with me as it was given to me while I was in bed recovering from a very serious case of food poisoning. I will never forget standing on my futon bed and being seemingly healed by the music. I was uplifted from the opening strains of “Go” and the feeling did not subside for the remainder of the album.

“PJ20” is the story of a group of guys who stayed the course no matter what was thrown their way. When the pitfalls of mega-success began creeping in, the band chose to retreat and stay true to themselves. In an era of “American Idol” and short-attention-span success cycles, watching this film makes you appreciate what it means to be in for the long haul and especially all of the crap that comes with the territory. Cameron Crowe truly captures the dynamics of the bonds that these guys have shared.

Cometbus

I've been checking out the new Cometbus anthology “Add Toner- A Cometbus Collection” that Last Gasp just put out. For the uninitiated, Aaron Cometbus has been putting out his zine Cometbus since the early 80s. The fact that someone is willing to publish a zine comp in 2011 is a nice little reminder that the small press underground has not been completely obliterated by the blogsphere and e-world. Every issue of Cometbus has been handwritten and assembled in true DIY bare-bones fashion (though I'm not sure if they're still xeroxed). The zine has covered Aaron's travels around the country (and more recently, around the world, as documented in his recent memoir of touring Asia with his old friends in Green Day). Over the years, he's documented his life as well as the lives of punk rockers and other under-the-radar types who dwell outside the bankers' hours existence that for many defines the epitome of American existence. In this compilation, Aaron covers the years 1998-2002 when he was living in Asheville NC, St. Louis, as well as his hometown of Berkeley. He documents the romance, travel, and (of course) music that shaped his life in those years. The section on Berkeley, “Lansky", ties all of this together as it covers a decent chunk of Berkeley history and sites as well as Aaron's own history growing up as a punk in Berkeley. The stories are chock full of the eccentric characters that weaved their way into his life. Rounding out “Add Toner” is “Back To The Land”, a collection of interviews with those who have chosen to abandon city life for simpler living and “8 Out Of 10 Days”, a collection of previously unpublished stories. Having been a fan of Cometbus for over 15 years, one undercurrent that has always resonated with me is Aaron's journey of growing older while embracing the punk DIY ethic that's guided him all these years. I've always pictured Aaron as a monastic punk who survives on just the bare essentials. He always seems to travel light and because of this, he's not forced to make decisions that are based on the necessity to accumulate goods or preserve an expensive lifestyle.

My reading of this collection is particularly interesting timing for me as I am now closer to 50 than 30. I've been thinking a lot lately about where I am in life. Hey, I have it real good these days so I am hardly suffering. But each day, I put on my middle-class uniform and shined shoes before hustling to a really big gleaming office building where I put in 9-10 hours a day doing work that is virtually meaningless to me beyond the fact that every 2 weeks there is money in my bank account that was deposited there by those who own my soul. When I was in my 20s I had a notion that I'd get older but somehow maintain my youthful spirit but somehow life got in the way. I've sworn repeatedly that I would never again take an office job but when The Man came around jingling the dough and bennies, I was roped like a steer. I've admired the way that Aaron has been able to keep true to himself all these years. His simple living reminds me of the old saying “that which you possess also possesses you.”

Somewhere along the way, I made a decision (or perhaps an indecision) due to a perceived need for more stability in my life. Perhaps complacency has led me to a point where I am yearning to do something more fulfilling with my life besides helping some wealthy people become even more wealthy. When I see my company's executives beg their investors for more money, I know that the master plan is to ensure that the fat cats get fatter and not to necessarily build something that will sustain all of us. If the grown-ups at my job pull off their scheme they will walk away very wealthy and re-convene down the road to start up the engine once again in an entirely new setting. Frankly, there's no reward for me if/when this happens. In fact, it could very well mean the end of my job.

So what separates someone like me from someone like Aaron Cometbus? Is it plain old fear? Is it attachment to what I think I need to have in my life to be content? Do I lack humility? I really don't know and I guess I'm processing my mid-life crisis in front of the handful of people that will actually read this. One of the motivations in starting this blog was to provide myself with an outlet where I can express my true self as a reminder that some ember of that still exists. The destination at the end of this is a mystery to me but I'll never know if I don't take steps in the direction that is calling me. You've just finished reading a small milepost on the quest to figure out where to set the sails.

Buy "Add Toner" by clicking here.